Ghosts
by NoDakGrl
Summary: The ghosts in Sara's life wouldn't leave her alone. She needed to find peace. Could she ever find it? This is before Living Doll. Snickers for all, if you are GSR, you probably won't like it much
1. Chapter 1

_**I really liked writing Vodka and Ghosts. It was a short but sweet story, but I think I can do more.**_

_**This story is going where Vodka left off. I don't know how far I am going to go with this, but bear with me for a time. Please let me know what you think, and if there is anything I could add to it, let me know. I'm a newbie at this and appreciate any pointers.**_

"_So where do you want to go?" She nuzzled his neck as they waited for the cab._

"_That depends," Nick drawled. "Do you want to get something to eat? Or would you rather talk some more?"_

"_Let's go to my place, and we can do both."_

_**The next morning….**_

The dream was always the same: sitting in the station's locker room getting ready to leave when darkness enveloped the whole room. Sara blindly walked towards the door, but the more she moved, the thicker the fog became. She would lose her bearings and then seeing the light break through ahead would run to it. There was a man standing at the opening where the light began, but no matter how hard she would try, she couldn't get there fast enough. The fog thickened to the consistency of pudding, and soon she was doing more wading through the fog than running. The man's hand was reaching out for her, calling her name, but it seemed so far, so distant, that she couldn't recognize the voice. She always called out Grissom's name, but the louder she cried, the farther the man became.

Sara knew that if the dream kept going, the worst part of the dream would surface. The fog would clear it would seem, and she would make a break for it, but as soon as she got into a good stride, arms reached out for her, grabbing at her clothes, ripping into her skin. The more she struggled, the more arms tightened their grip. Soon she could see who was holding her down. She knew all of them, some by name, most by case number. They were people who died since she came to Vegas, and the number kept growing. The bodies soon blocked out the light until there was nothing else to do but scream…..

Nick was in the bathroom when he heard the scream. Racing to her room he saw Sara fighting off invisible attackers, kicking and screaming at her tormentors. He grabbed her by the shoulders and tried to wake her.

"Sara, wake up. It's just a dream, wake up Sara…" he called out to her, trying to wake her, but the thrashing continued. Soon he resorted to shouting, trying to startle her to wake from the nightmare.

Sara didn't know how long it had been that she had been thrashing about. There was nothing to see, but softly she heard a voice.

"Sara, wake up….." The voice was not very strong at first, but the reaction was immediate. The arms holding her down, and the faces blocking out the light let go. She could see the man again, and it seemed as if the voice came from him. She stood there for a moment, and started to walk toward the light again. From behind, she heard another voice, she turned to see a young woman, light brown hair and crazy eyes focused on nothing but Sara.

"_Sara?" _The woman said again, and Sara didn't want to say yes, but it seemed her body was on a different frequency to her brain. Her brain wanted her to say NO, but her head nodded in agreement to the question. The Taser in the woman's hand shot out two electrodes, and soon all Sara could see was an orangish glow, feeling the electricity through her body……

She awoke with a start. Sweat drenching her long black hair. Nick was there, holding her, trying to calm her as only he could. The words he murmured in her ear didn't make any sense to her; the cadence of his voice calmed her down. She went limp in his arms, circling his neck with her own arms and crying into his neck.

"Hey there, little lady, it's going to be all right," Nick cooed to her. "It was only a dream; you are going to be ok." He stroked her hair lightly, his touch responding to her every movement.

She was glad that Nick was here, but at the same time she was very embarrassed. No one knew about her dreams, not even Gil. It wasn't that she didn't want to tell her boss/lover, it was just that he wouldn't have listened. He held dreams with very little regard, and it felt like she would be talking to her father about Santa Claus, rather than a lover her deepest fears. The relationship she had with him was complicated for sure, and now that she was in it, she realized it wasn't what she bargained for. She did love Gil, but how much was really the question now. She and Gil were so much alike, and that was what brought them together eventually. It seemed safe, but not very satisfactory.

Now there was Nick. He didn't know about her relationship with Gil, and she intended to keep it that way. Last night was a mistake, she was drunk off her butt, and Nick had to be the wrong guy at the right place. Their night of passion was wonderful for sure, but both had doubts as to what was to happen in the morning.

Nick stopped stroking her hair and turned her shoulders to him. "You ok now?"

Sara shuddered at the thought of the dream, but nodded "Yep, just a bad dream."

She got up from the bed and surveyed the damage. The only thing on her bed was a lone sheet. The comforter, pillow shams, and anything else on the bed earlier was strewn across the room. The blouse that she puked on was draped over the mirror to her vanity; his shirt was hanging off the door to the bathroom. To say they were a bit anxious to get to be would have been the understatement of the century. From the bedroom door she saw the line of clothes, his on one side, hers on another that made a beeline to the bed. It was a wild night, they couldn't seem to get enough of each other then, now, in the daylight it seemed quite awkward for them.

Nick shuffled around her to get his jeans. _He's a fine man, that is for sure, _she thought to herself. _I don't want to get him messed up in this; he's too good for that._ Nick's back was to her as he dressed. She couldn't stop looking at him, no matter what her logical mind said to herself.

"You see anything you like there Sidle?" Nick smiled to himself, he didn't regret last night. In fact if the truth be told, he wished that it would have happened sooner. He had always been attracted to her, but her infatuation with their boss really turned him off. He didn't see the connection, he was so much older than her and it didn't seem that it would have ended happily. There was so many times that he wished that he took her up on offers to go out for dinner, drinks, whatever, but he was too scared of screwing things up.

She smiled at the remark, "Well, Mr. Stokes I think there is a LOT I like there, but in good conscience, I can't have."

He sat down next to her, his hand on her knee. He knew this was coming, the logical side o him said it made perfect sense, but his heart screamed otherwise. He tried to be nonchalant, but failed miserably.

"What do you mean? Sara, I know that this started probably in the worst way, but understand that I don't want it to be a one night thing."

"Nick, out of all the guys I know, you are the closest friend I have. I don't want to ruin that friendship, our working relationship…"

"Oh hang it all. This isn't about me at all is it?" Nick got up from the bed, ripped his shirt from the door and started to put on his shirt. "It's him, isn't it?" His back was to her. She didn't have to ask who he was talking about, she knew.

"He has nothing to do with it." She knew that wasn't the truth, but Gil and her had promised to keep their affair a secret, and of all people she didn't want Nick to know.

"That's not true and you know it." He said with malice, "Don't you get it? This infatuation you have with Grissom is going to come down to nothing in the end. Why can't you understand that? He is incapable of loving you the way you should be loved." He had turned to her, and she saw his eyes pleading with her. She couldn't tell him the truth, not now, not ever. She didn't want to hurt him.

"And you think you know how to love me?" She spat it back, but in her heart she already knew the answer to that one. "You got what you wanted, just leave ok? This was a mistake, and I'm sorry that I led you on." She turned away from him so he could not see the tears that threatened to come out.

He walked up behind her, gently wrapping his arms around her. His breath was against her ear, his cologne lingered in her nostrils, intoxicating her for a moment.

"I think I showed that last night, Sara. And for the record, I didn't get what I wanted. Only you can give me that." He drew her closer and lightly kissed her ear. "This wasn't a mistake, no matter what you tell yourself Sara Sidle."

She wanted to turn around, wrap her arms around him, kiss him with all her might, but she couldn't. She shouldn't have been with him in the first place. She loved Gil, not Nick. This was getting too confusing and she needed him to leave to get her bearings straight. She stepped out of his embrace, turning to him but not looking him in the eye when she spoke.

"I think you need to leave now."


	2. Chapter 2

_**I think this fanfic is getting addicting. I love Snickers, and by the end I hope that no matter what pairing you prefer you can see where I am coming from.**_

_**I had trouble downloading, this chapter is short because I cut it in two to necessitate downloading. Sorry for the inconvenience. **_

**Two weeks later---**

Sara tried to concentrate, she really did, but the longer she sat at the table looking at evidence, the more her eyes drooped. She hadn't been sleeping regularly. The nightmares that she had been having wouldn't go away. She would always wake up screaming. At first Gil understood, but the sleepless nights were getting to him and soon he didn't protest when she told him that she was going to stay at her own house. Really it became a relief for both of them.

She never told Gil about what happened with Nick. She made a point not to talk to Nick, and if they were the only ones in a room or crime scene, she would make an excuse to leave. She couldn't face him alone. Every time she looked at him her resolve started to fall away. Her relationship with Gil was difficult enough as it was, she didn't want to think of Nick and that night.

There at the table, with no one around, her mind betrayed her again, and she was thinking of the last conversation they had had.

"_And you think you know how to love me?" _

She sighed, a deep sigh that seemed to come from the depths of her soul. She had known the answer, she knew that Nick could love her, and do it well. She remembered her anger at him, and it really wasn't what he said. He saw her in a vulnerable position that not even her lover had seen, and then read her mail concerning Gil, so spot on with everything that he said that she felt exposed. Naked before him, and she didn't like it one bit. His dark brown eyes bored holes into her soul and she feared what he would find, and what he would do when he found it.

She remembered how he held her after what she had said. She was so rude to him, but all he offered was love. His cologne, his breath against her neck, his bare chest against her back as he held her were memories that refused to go away. Those memories threatened everything she had with Gil. The last night that she spent with Gil, she almost cried out Nick's name and bit her lip to stop it from coming out. Gil was a gracious man, but her near confession was too much for him to take, no matter her excuses. It had been a week since she stayed the night. She still went out to dinner, walked with him and Hank, watched monster movies on his couch, but it wasn't the same.

Nick's voice haunted her even now.

"_I think I showed that last night, Sara. And for the record, I didn't get what I wanted. Only you can give me that." _

What he thought she could give him, she really didn't know. Her track record concerning men was shot. She couldn't even tell anyone of the man that she was dating now. She had thought that her relationship with Gil would have been something more, but as it progressed, it felt more like a dirty secret. As she saw her reflection in the glass wall before her she couldn't help but think of what she really was: damaged goods. That's what her foster mom called her. She was Humpty Dumpty, without all the kings' horses and men.

"_This wasn't a mistake, no matter what you tell yourself Sara Sidle."_

"Sara?"

Sara shook herself to see Warrick and Nick at the door. Warrick's eyes showed concern for her. Nick's jaw clenched when he looked at her, but seeing her tired eyes, his facial features softened, realizing the stress that she was under. Warrick walked up to Sara and put his arm around her shoulder.

"You need to stop these doubles girl, it's tearing you up." Warrick told her as he lifted her chin up so her eyes met his. "I'll help you put this away, get some rest today, promise?"

She wanted to argue, but didn't have the energy. She was exhausted, and she really needed sleep.

"Ok Rick, you win. I'm just going to need a ride, my car is in the shop and my ride isn't leaving for a few hours."

Warrick looked at Nick, who nodded a silent agreement, and started to put the envelopes in the evidence box.

"Tell you what, I'll put this away, I have a couple more hours of work ahead of me, so I can't leave just yet, but Nicky here could take you home."

"I don't want to put Nick out like that," Sara protested. The last person she wanted to be around was him, but she couldn't make a scene in front of Warrick.

Nick walked up to her and put his hand on her shoulder. He looked at her with pleading eyes, _we need to talk Sara, and you know that_. "It's not an imposition at all; I'm heading in that direction anyway. Don't worry Sara."

Don't worry, _yeah right_, she thought. It's only a ride home with the one guy who could make her insides turn to goo.

"Give me 10 minutes Nick, and we can head out if that is ok." She gave in; she needed to talk to him. They had a lot of things to discuss.


	3. Chapter 3

_**I wrote chapter 2, but had problems downloading, so I split them up. This is the second half of what would have been chapter 2. Have a great day and don't forget to write!**_

* * *

In the car, Nick wasn't going to make small talk. He was going to wait on her. He knew that it had been awkward since their night together; he had tried to give her some space to think things through. Seeing her almost fall asleep at the evidence table renewed concerns that he had for the past 2 weeks; she looked wasted away, vexed, and incredibly lonely. He wanted to get her alone, and thankfully Warrick came through for him. Nick couldn't keep much from his closest friend. Warrick knew about what had happened, at least the one night stand, and was sworn to secrecy.

Sara got into the passenger seat, put on her seatbelt. She didn't look at him, keeping her focus forward.

Nick smiled at her, "Where to my dear?"

Sara still looked ahead, "My house." She sighed. "Nick, I'm so sorry." She turned to him, and he saw the dark circles under her eyes. He knew why she was apologizing; he didn't have to ask why. He put his hand on her pale cheek and lightly caressed her as she relaxed by his touch.

"I'll always forgive you Sara, please, just don't block me out. I know that you are hurting, and I hope it's not because of me. If it is, tell me, you know I will fix it, I don't want this wall between us. These past two weeks have been torture not talking to you."

She relished his touch, but she didn't give in totally, she knew Nick wanted her love, and she wasn't ready to give that away. She sat back in the seat and looked forward again.

He put the car in drive and headed out of the parking garage. The drive was quiet as they quickly maneuvered through traffic. Pulling up to her townhouse, she was nervous. Having him so close to her was unnerving, but his presence also did something else.

_They _were no where to be found.

Anytime Sara heard of a ghost story she always took it in the same manner as the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny. It was just a story to amuse children, she didn't believe in them. But for the last year she was finding out something different.

At first, it was coldness that she felt whenever she was alone. She could dress up in sweats and wrap herself in blankets, but she couldn't get warm. It wouldn't be as strong when she was around people, but it always was there.

A few weeks after the unexplained chills came the movements out the corner of her eye. It was if someone was watching her, and when she realized it and looked where the person was, they were gone, like they were playing an unending game of hide and seek. This had gone on for months, and it drove her to distraction every time she was at home. She kept the television on the whole time she was home, as a diversion, and it helped for some time.

She finally saw them brushing her teeth one morning. She was spitting out the toothpaste in the sink and when she rose up her head to look in the mirror she saw someone behind her. It was a young blond teenager. She was dripping wet, in a white towel. Her skin was a bluish tone, like she had been dead for some time. The burns on her body brought a case back to remembrance. It was the one with the brother and sister- Marlon and Hannah. He had killed a girl they had both knew and hated. Somehow she was behind her and it shook Sara to the core. She turned around and the girl was gone.

This happened with more and more frequency with each passing day. It would be different cases, all which had been hers. They soon got bold enough to not hide in the shadows anymore. She would come home to her ghosts, and it seemed that more and more showed up everyday. She wasn't a very social person, but if someone were to come to her house, she wasn't a very gracious host. She was on the edge of her seat, trying to talk to the person, while all of her uninvited guests roamed at will around her house. Even when Gil came to the house, he couldn't relax with her like that. He only spent the night once, and she was such a nervous wreck throughout the whole night, that he left early.

Two weeks ago she fell off the wagon. It started with finding the bottle of Saki hidden in the cupboards. A couple of drink, and the ghosts didn't bother her so much. When that ran out, she went to the bar, and for the first time, the ghosts followed. She didn't like that, but their company became more acceptable with each passing drink, so she bought the bottle of cherry vodka and started downing shots.

Then Nick showed up.

She was embarrassed that he found her in that state. But something happened when he showed up. The ghosts left, the movement out the corner of her eye was gone, and she was _warm_, for the first time in almost a year.

When he went to her house, it was like she had her home back again. She was warm and vibrant and alive. When she awoke from the dream later, did she realize, they never left, and they just changed places. It was a depressing thought, that and having Nick see her in such a state gave her the courage to kick him out of her house.

It was a mistake. No, not sleeping with him. Kicking him out. As soon as he left, they came back with a vengeance. Her house was full of ghosts and she had no idea what to do. There was no rest for her. There was no peace.

If anyone could help her now, it was Nick.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Still having fun with this. I hope that you are enjoying the story. I am going to try to incorporate this with cases that CSI has and are doing. It probably won't be cannon, but if you have any suggestions I am willing to try it out.**_

_**Please review! I love them!**_

Pulling up to her house, the usual dread crept into her thinking, the fear of what she would find. Her new houseguests changed at a whim, and she never knew what she was going to see when she unlocked her house.

Nick was right behind her as she tried to get the key in the lock. She couldn't do it. Her hands shook so much that it appeared that she was going to have a fit. She could feel the ice cold air coming up from the crack in the door, and it reminded her of what awaited her.

"Sara, here, let me do that for you." Nick took the keys from her, and his touch comforted her, even for that small moment. He opened the door with ease, looked inside and with a curious expression turned back to Sara.

"I'd hate to see your light bill girl," he chided. "The Golden Nugget doesn't have anything compared to this!" Every light in her house was on. Sara must have put the highest watt light bulbs in every lamp and had them on to the brightest setting. The house was aglow with artificial light, but every window had dark curtains pulled, not letting any light in.

"Not now Nicky, I need to talk to you." Sara knew she was safe, no cold spells as of yet, so all was well to go into the house. To Nick it looked like a spotlight illuminated her house, but to Sara she noticed every shadow, dark corner in her house from the moment she walked in. The dark was where _they_ came from, so she figured the less opening for them to come into, the better off she would be.

They sat at her breakfast nook, Nick in the corner and her sitting opposite. She fidgeted, Nick knew whatever it was, it had to be important. He reached for her hand, which was surprisingly cold to the touch. Her hand warmed up considerably after first touch, but it bothered him. Was she sick? He couldn't think of why she would be in this state otherwise.

"You want something to drink? How about water, tea, cherry vodka?" She got up quickly and moved toward the fridge. Nick held up his hand to stop her. It worked.

"Are you still drinking? I thought you learned your lesson from the last episode we had." He was frowning, and she was quick to calm his fears.

"No, it was joke, I'm not drinking. So you don't want anything?"

"No, Sara, please talk to me. You are scaring me here." Nick motioned her to sit next to him, but she sat across in the same chair. She needed to focus, and she couldn't do it with Nick so close to her. She needed to keep him at arms length.

She began slowly, but as the story progressed, she started speeding up. She wanted to get it over with. "Nicky, I've been having quite a time for the past year. Strange things have been happening to me. For some time now I've been having dreams, nightmares actually. No matter what I do, they won't go away. Every morning I am drenched in sweat, no remembering what I dreamed, and I feel like I didn't sleep at all, though the clock tells me otherwise. That night you took me home, I was hoping it wouldn't happen again, but it did. I guess that is why I kicked you out so fast that night. I was embarrassed; I didn't want you to see me like that I was so out of control. It scares me, and I don't know what to do."

Nick moved so quickly that she didn't have time to respond. He knelt before her and wrapped his strong arms around her. She held onto him like a drowning man would hang on to a life preserver.

"I'm here now Sara, and if you'll have me, I'll do whatever it takes to see you get the help you need."

She pulled back from him, this wasn't what she expected. "_The help I need?_ What is that supposed to mean? I don't want anyone else, which is why I came to you."

Nick looked at her with a puzzled look on his face. He wasn't sure what she wanted him to do. "Sara, I'm not a doctor, I'm not sure what you want…."

"A doctor? Nick, you think I'm sick? I'm not sick, I need your help. You are the only one that can help me now." Sara was reconsidering telling him this now, and she pushed at his arms to get up.

Nick held on. "What do you want me to do Sara? I guess that I am not following your line of reasoning."

She looked up from the table and saw movement in the hallway leading towards her bedroom. She looked at Nick. He cared for her, and she had to trust him now. She had to believe that she wasn't crazy. If he didn't believe her….well she had to know now.

"Come with me, I want your whole concentration now Nick, will you give me that?"

"Absolutely Sara, where are we going?"

They got up as one and Sara led him to the hallway that led to her bathroom. That was the first sighting, and it seemed like any of the cases that happened in a bathroom hung out there the most. As they walked, she told him what had been going on.

"For some time now, I've been seeing things. Hearing movement where there is nothing there. A couple of months ago I first saw one." She was still being vague, and it bothered Nick to no end.

"What did you see Sara, I'm not following you."

She sighed. "Remember that case I had with the child prodigy, Hannah?"

Nick thought for a moment, and nodded. "Creepy little genius, not so genius older brother, he got away with the murder didn't he?" He suddenly stopped in his tracks. "They aren't bothering you are they? I know you took it hard when that girl pulled a fast one on you. She seemed to really get into your head."

"No, no, not them Nick, Stacy. Stacy Vollmer." There she said it. Hopefully it won't land her in a padded cell.

"Stacy?" Nick thought for a minute, and then paused. _She can't mean her!_ He drew her near so they were practically nose to nose, and whispered, "The girl he killed? That's who you saw?"

She nodded, "I was getting ready for bed, looked in a mirror and saw her. As soon as I figured out who she was, I turned around and she was gone. Or at least I thought she was gone. I know that she hangs out here." She opened the door to the bathroom and gestured to Nick to walk in.

Nick wasn't so sure now what to believe. It gave him the creeps that was for sure. "Have you been watching horror movies again?"

"Nick! Would I be like this," pointing to her face, "Over a stupid movie?"

"Well, you did freak when the water heater started," Nick smiled, trying to lighten her up, which didn't work.

"I was a teenager when I told you that story! Please I would not bother you with this if it wasn't far more than that."

Nick thought about that. Of all the level headed women that he knew, Sara made them look like ditzy teenagers. She didn't shake easily, and by the look on her face and how she acted while they had been in her house, he knew if was far more than movie jitters.

"Ok, you're right about that." He admitted, "Are you telling me that you saw a ghost?"

"Yeah I do. I know it sounds crazy…" she said and Nick stopped her by putting his finger to her mouth.

"Sh, you aren't crazy." He looked around in the bathroom. "What do you want me to see?"

"Take a minute, and tell me if you sense anything." She backed away from him as he walked to the center of her bathroom.

The bathroom was a lot bigger than his, with a shower and a separate bath. He looked around, hoping he could see something, anything, so that he could reassure her, and himself, that she wasn't crazy. Nothing. But as he stood there, he noticed how cold it was. A slight gust of wind hit him in the back of the neck, causing the hair on it to stand on end.

"Sara, what is going on?" Nick saw a shadow, in the corner of her room grow larger, though he knew in his mind that it couldn't' be happening.

Sara looked in the direction where his eyes were focused. It was Stacy, still dripping wet, still blue looking right at him.

"Do you see her Nick?"

"No, but it feels about 20 degrees colder in here. What now?" Nick didn't know what to do. "Who do you call for this? A priest? Ghostbusters? I have no clue Sar, if there is something here what can I do to help?"

"This," and with those words, Sara wrapped her arms around Nick, hugging him fiercely. He returned the hug with equal strength. The temperature of the room rose.

"I don't understand. What happened?"

"The night that you came here was the first time I had felt warm for months. Though I could see them, they stay away where you are there. That's what I need Nick, you. Please stay here with me. I need you."

His dark eyes got a darker shade of brown. He leaned down and ever so slightly kissed her pale lips. His kiss deepened. The soft moan from her lips encouraged him, drawing her closer, wanting to be even closer still. He loved her, though he wasn't going to say anything yet. He didn't know where this was going to go, but he wanted to help her anyway he could.

_**Nick's in, but where is Grissom in this matter? How is this going to work out? Keep in touch and find out.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Two weeks later**_

Grissom was at his desk finishing up the last of the monthly budget when Sara walked by. She was smiling; it had been a long time since he had seen her smile. They hadn't talked much since the last time he stayed the night. When they decided to date, they decided that no one was going to know. It was going to be too much of a hassle, and he wanted as little friction as possible. At first, it was exciting, the coded messages to each others, the weekends holed up at his house. It was bliss, for a time.

Then the nightmares started.

Oh, he knew that she wasn't sleeping for quite some time. He saw the effect of the dreams that she was having. If he stayed the night at her house, she was up almost every hour. He would wake up to screams, though he made it a point not to show that he knew. Obviously she wanted to keep it to herself, and he didn't want to intrude. He felt it wasn't his place to play Freud on her. It happened for so long, it became impossible to play the charade anymore. He made excuses on not staying at her house; he didn't want to embarrass her with what he knew. The last night they were together was over two weeks ago. They had a fight, and Sara left him at her house. He didn't know what was going to happen. He worried that she was going to relapse, and start drinking again, but he wasn't going to chase her. He was too old to have that kind of drama in his life. When he left her place, he left his key on the counter.

He wasn't intending on it being the end of their relationship, not at all. He had deduced that she needed her "space" and trying to be understanding, he gave her all the space that she needed. She seemed happier this way, and to see her smile, made him miss her more and more.

She was talking to Hodges about her latest case, the showgirl murders. The death of Cassie had bothered her for some time now, even though they caught the guy who killed her. The pretrial hearing was coming up and she was getting all the facts together. Both of them would be testifying then. The defendant wanted a speedy trial, so they were jumping through hoops to get all the tests and reports together to present to the DA. She was about to walk away when Grissom signaled her to come into his office.

"What's up?"

"I was wondering, maybe we could go over this prelim before we send it off to the DA." Grissom was stalling, trying to word it just right.

Sara took a seat and opened her folder that she was holding. "Ok, I just got done talking with Hodges and he is…"

Grissom stopped her. "Not here, I was hoping you could come over."

Sara looked up from reading, understanding where he was going with this conversation. "I think here would be better. This is a case; we should be talking about it here." She didn't want to go to his house. He hadn't spoken a word since he left her key on the counter. Now, after all this time he wanted to talk. Nope, not going to happen, if he wanted to talk to her, he would talk to her here, just like he did to everyone else.

Gil was puzzled. Why wouldn't she want to come to his house? He gave her space; he just didn't think it was going to be this long before they could resume what they started.

"I, uh, was hoping that we could talk about other things as well." He stammered as she was getting up to go.

"I think everything was said when you left the key on my counter," she shot back.

"I thought you wanted your space, to work out….that problem." He was losing ground fast and he didn't know what to do. Sara was rarely emotional and seeing the defiance in her eyes was unsettling, and he was put on defense.

"My problem," she spat "Is that I believed we had something together. Something special." He tried to motion to her to quiet down, and she hissed instead. "I guess that it wasn't very special to you. I needed someone who could understand where I was coming from, and all that you were worried about was the amount of sleep you needed."

"That was not it at all," he stated, his voice rising as he spoke. "I thought that you needed space, to work out what needed to get worked out. Oh, I don't know about these things. I'm too old for this." He pushed his chair from the desk, running his hands through his hair in frustration.

"You're the one who didn't speak to me. I know that leaving you at my house was probably immature, but you're the one who chose to avoid me at all costs." She got up out of her seat turning to leave she paused and looking at him said, "It's probably better this way. Someone was going to find out sooner or later."

"Sara, please, I'm sorry." He got up from his chair and walking around the desk grabbed her elbow to stop her departure. She stiffened at his touch. "You know I don't have much experience in this kind of thing, please give me another chance."

Later, as she thought of this, Sara bitterly would think to herself, _if there is a God, he has a very bad sense of humor._

Around the corner walked up Nick and Warrick. They were talking about a suspect they had just interviewed.

"Dude, that guy is lying through his teeth. You know it and I know it." Warrick said as they walked away from the interrogation room.

"He can lie all he wants, but the evidence never lies," Nick said as he held the swab that they took from the guy for a DNA test. "I'm going to take this to Wendy. I'll see you later ok?"

"No problem, bro. Take care of yourself." Warrick patted Nick on the back as he headed towards the locker room.

It was when they separated ways that Nick looked towards Grissom's office. There was Grissom and Sara. His heart sank to the depths of his stomach. He didn't hear what they were saying. He didn't want to know. He saw the look in Grissom's eyes as he held onto Sara's arm. He knew that look. All of his fears came crashing down onto him at once. He felt betrayed. He thought that she cared for him. She told him that there was nothing between her and their boss. Obviously, that was a lie.

He tried to get past Grissom's office as fast as he could, but Sara saw him pass.

Busted.

_Oh my God. He saw me, he saw us._ She thought to herself. She pulled her arm away from Grissom roughly. She had to talk to Nick. Looking at her boss she said, "Grissom, this is not the time and place for this kind of talk, ever. As far as I am concerned, this conversation is over."

She left quickly, Grissom chiding himself on his actions. _You are acting like a foolish boy. She is right, it's probably better this way._ Shoulders slumped; he walked back to his desk, every step feeling like he was carting a ton of bricks around his neck. He sighed deeply as he sat down. He picked up the phone, dialed the florist. Giving her information and his credit card information he ordered a pot of live flowers sent to her house with one note. _I'm so sorry, please forgive me- Gil._

Sara half walked, half ran towards DNA. Wendy was in there with Nick. She slowed down as she saw Wendy look past Nick and see her. A smile slowly came across her face. Sara tried to be casual, and failed miserably.

"Where's the fire Sidle?' Wendy quipped as Sara entered the lab. "You have something for me to run?"

"Oh, no, I'm just finishing up on the showgirl case, getting it ready for pretrial." Sara quickly said. "I was hoping that I could talk to all the CSI's involved, Nick's the last one I need to talk to."

Nick wrinkled his brow as she talked. "You have my report Sara. _There isn't anything left to tell._"

"There are some things that we missed on the last report. I _really_ think we need to talk about what we _viewed on scene._" She tried to stress those words, hoping that he would get the hint.

Oh, Nick got the hint, but he wasn't budging. He was ticked and had no problem telling her that in the same coded talk.

"I think everything that I _viewed_ was accurate Sidle. You don't need to remind me of that." Nick wasn't budging from his spot next to Wendy, and it frustrated Sara to no end.

"I _really_ think that some _facts_ are obscured here, and I need to _explain_ the situation as it stands right now."

Wendy's grin spread across her face as she saw the two go back and forth. She knew something was going on between them, but couldn't put her finger on it. She was just hoping one would slip up and spill the beans. This was going to be good.

Before she could get any more juicy conversation, Nick picked up his reports with a huff and stomped out the lab. Sara was at his heels, trying to keep up.

"Nick, please, we need to talk." Sara gasped as she tried to keep up. Nick's long strides far outpaced hers and it was hard to look casual and not desperate at the same time. "Not now." He said as he passed Grissom's office and walked towards the locker room.

Inside the locker room she grabbed his arm. He turned to her quickly, a hurt look in his eyes. That look brought tears to her eyes. "Please, it's not what you saw."

"You lied to me Sidle. You said there wasn't…." As he spoke, Warrick came out of the showers, towel wrapped around his waist. He was toweling off his hair and didn't hear what he said.

"Hey Nick, well well, what do we have here? You lost Sidle?" Warrick smiled slyly as he said this, knowing how his friend felt about her.

"Uh, sorry Rick, I got so caught up in Nick's story I forgot where he was going, _right Nick?_" Sara said as she nudged Nick in the ribs quickly without their friend seeing it.

"Sure," Nick said quickly. "Though I think Sara has been wanting to catch you in a towel for a long time now Brown so you better watch out." She slapped him on the arm as he said this. Warrick knew that wasn't the case, but he played along. He sauntered up to Sara; hand on the towel that he had wrapped around his middle.

"You want to see what's under this Sara?" He smiled with a mischievous grin on his lips.

Sara blocked her view, "Nope, that's quite all right." Under her breath she spoke to Nick, "I'll speak to you at home." She made a quick and hasty departure, slamming the door behind her.

Warrick looked at his friend; concern in his eyes replaced the sly grin. "What's going on with you two?

"Nothing….really." Nick looked away from his friend and opened his locker. He didn't want to talk about it with him. Not now anyway.

"Hey, this is me you're talking to, your friend?" Warrick wasn't going to quit so easily. "We haven't hung out after work in weeks man, that's not you. You know that you can tell me anything. I'm not going to say anything."

Nick shut the locker door and looked at his friend. "I wish I could tell you what's going on, but it's complicated and I really don't know where I stand right now."

Warrick saw the look in his friend's eyes, the confusion that was there. He would let it go, for now. He didn't want to push him too hard. He knew that Nick would come around eventually. "Ok man, I hear you. I'll leave you be. If you want to talk, you know how to get a hold of me."

Nick put his hand on Warrick's shoulder, "Thanks bro, I owe you one." With that, he left.

Sara practically ran to her car. The tears were coming quickly, and the last thing she needed was anyone else to see her in this state. It was a close call with Warrick, but they had been lucky, she was able to dry her tears quickly so that they didn't see. She franticly tried to open her door, but the sobs came out, shaking her whole body.

_Sara._

The voice was so calm, reassuring even, but she recognized that voice, and it chilled her to the bone. She looked up and saw her dad, well it really wasn't him, and he had been dead since she was 13. All she could see was a faint image at best, but she knew that voice.

"Dad? Is that you?"

_That's right Pumpkin. Haven't seen you in awhile._ The image was getting a little clearer and she could see he was wearing the same clothes he died in. His skin was gaunt and dark circles under his eyes. It frightened her, but she tried not to show it.

"Probably because you've been dead for oh, about 23 years now." She was nuts, she had to be. "I've got to go now, nice seeing you." She got her key in the lock and opened the door. Getting in, she put on her seatbelt quickly, trying not to look in the direction of the specter.

_Sara, we need to talk. I've been watching you for awhile now._ He was inside the car now, sitting next to her. It unnerved her to be so close to him.

"You are not real. You are a repressed feeling in my subconscious. I do not want you here." Sara was trying to state fact, trying to make sense out of the situation, than really talking to her long dead father.

_Not real? How's this for real? _He grabbed her wrist and it felt like the temperature of the car dropped 40 degrees. She was really scared now. If only Nick were here, but she still had to fix that mess.

_He can't help you right now._

She whipped her head at the image. It couldn't be possible. "Please leave." She whimpered quietly. She wanted to leave, but felt frozen to the seat.

_I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to talk._

"Sara? Are you ok?" It was Nick, worry causing his jaw tighten, a nervous habit. He was walking out to his car when he saw Sara, in the car, talking to someone, but there was no one in the car.

She looked at him, all the color drained from her face. "I saw…..my dad." She turned to look at the passenger seat, and the ghost was gone. She turned back to Nick, scared out of her mind, and said in a small voice, "I want to go home, I just want to go home."

Nick opened the door, and kneeling down he embraced her. The tears came again and the sobs shook her frame as she held him. He looked up, to make sure no one was around and quietly said. "You want me to drive? We can always ride together to work, you know, come in early so we don't raise any eyebrows."

"I don't care; I just want to go home, with you." Sara sobbed as she unbuckled herself and slid over. "Hiding this thing isn't going to solve anything anyway."

"We still need to talk about what happened at the lab Sar, I need to know where _I_ stand with you." Nick was a nice guy, but the cloak and dagger stuff that they had been doing for the past couple of weeks left him more confused than ever.

Ever since she took him in the bathroom, and he felt that presence, he stayed with her. He had to. He cared about her, and he didn't want to see her in such a state. Of course there was the whole side benefit of getting to be with her. He had loved her for a long time, and these last few weeks just deepened his love, but seeing her with Grissom hurt. He had wanted to believe her, but now he wasn't so sure. It felt like a betrayal, even though he wished with all his heart that it wasn't happening.

"Nick, I'm so sorry about everything. I want to come clean, but not here ok?" She wanted so badly to show him how sorry he was, but not here, where anyone could walk up on them.

"Deal. Let's go home."

"


End file.
